Haunting Maybes
by Princess-Amon-Rae
Summary: "I was terrified today," Dylan says out of the blue like it's the most normal thing in the world. Andy looks up at him from his papers. "I think that's reasonable since you chased a bomber around today," Andy says and only feels slight confusion for the little half smile and head shake that he gets in response. "Terrified for you," he corrects. Post 1X11 Hurt/Comfort


"I was terrified today," Dylan says out of the blue like it's the most normal thing in the world. Andy looks up at him from his papers.

"I think that's reasonable since you chased a bomber around today," Andy says and only feels slight confusion for the little half smile and head shake that he gets in response.

"Terrified for you," he corrects. Andy puts his papers down fully in surprise.

"Me?"

"I was so worried I had gotten it wrong. He was going after dreams what if I had gotten it wrong," Dylan says in a vaguely distant way like he's still considering all the possibilities that had never come to pass.

"I don't follow," Andy says. "You were worried you had gotten the dream thing wrong?"

"No which dream. A dream I already had, a dream I was living every single day, a dream I'm not sure I could live without." Dylan's eyes focus back on him and he smiles sweetly. "That's you."

"You really know what to say to make a guy feel special," Andy says and takes a deep breath before going for full disclosure. "I had a lot of sleepless nights when you were in the CIA."

"You never told me that," Dylan says with a concerned look and a slight head tilt. Andy shrugs slightly.

"You had a lot on your plate at the time, so I didn't want to add to it and then you left the agency, and it was like a giant weight off my chest. Plus, it felt stupid to say that I was lying awake at night worrying about endless possibilities." Dylan reaches out and grasps his hand.

"Nothing that you have ever felt, or ever will feel will be stupid," Dylan tells him. Andy squeezes his hand in return.

"Same to you. And there's no need to worry you were right. You were right, I'm right here and I'm fine." He pulls him in for a kiss. "Not going anywhere either."

"Perish the thought," Dylan says with a smile as he ducks in for another kiss and as Andy reciprocates, he thinks about how happy he is that they worked this out together.

XXXX

Andy is not entirely sure what pulls him out of his sleep several hours later; he's sure he wasn't dreaming, there's nothing physically that seems to need attention and a slight fidget confirms that Dylan is still in the bed next to him. He's about to roll over and sleepily accuse his husband of thinking too loud when his ears register a slight wet hitch in Dylan's breathing. Andy shoots bolt upright, wide awake and reaches for him.

"What is it what's the matter what's wrong?" Andy is pretty sure he's babbling, but he can't help it. Dylan might wax philosophical about how it balances neurochemicals to cry, but that doesn't mean that Andy can't count all the times he's seen Dylan cry on one hand.

"Pent up anxieties," Dylan says like he's hoping to get a laugh out of Andy. It doesn't work.

"Dylan come on please talk to me," Andy begs. Dylan reaches out and runs a shaky hand through his hair, like he's soothing himself somehow.

"Possibilities then," Dylan says after a few moments and if Andy weren't still so concerned, he's sure that he wouldn't quite have been able to stop a fond eyeroll.

"I need more than that. What possibilities?" As soon as the words are out of his mouth it clicks in his still slightly sleep deprived brain. Dylan's big brain has never been very good at letting anything go, and that's not taking the photographic memory into account. "Oh hell."

"Lizzie and I were sitting in the park waiting. I must have left bruises on her leg I was clenching it so tightly from the nerves and then one of the officers came running up saying that there had been an explosion. Lizzie asked him for the address and the way she looked at me when he said the bar's address." Dylan pauses to shake his head as he presses quivering fingers to his lips. "It was the most empathetically painful thing I have ever seen. Because of course she understood, after Charlie how couldn't she?"

"Oh Hell," Andy echoes and hauls Dylan properly into his arms. He's not entirely sure what to say, so he's just going to be here until Dylan tells him what he needs.

"I don't know if I could do it Andy. Be okay after a year. I don't know if I would be okay after a millennium," Dylan says, and Andy squeezes him tighter.

"Hey, you don't need to worry about being okay, I'm still here remember? Still here and not going anywhere. Perish the thought." That makes Dylan chuckle slightly.

"Perish the thought indeed." He sits back slightly and strokes Andy's cheek. "I'm sorry. I told myself I would keep cases out of the bedroom."

"I'm going to give you a free pass on this one. And a free pass on the next time I'm in danger," Andy says and the joke might be a little too soon for the delicate shudder that passes over Dylan, but his husband side eyes him.

"Which is hopefully no more dangerous than a overly drunk college student," Dylan quips and Andy laughs.

"I sure hope so. I'm the boring one in this relationship." Dylan frames his face in his hands and smiles at him lovingly.

"You are my rock and I will love you everyday for it."


End file.
